Unraveling the Ego

The ego is a complex construct that shapes our sense of identity. It acts as our personal lens through which we perceive and interact with the world, functioning as the inner narrator that continually defines who we are based on our experiences, beliefs, and identifications. Despite its complexity, the ego can be distilled into two primary aspects in Vedanta – the Ahamkara and Asmita.

Ahamkara can be understood as the “I-maker.” This ‘I’ is necessary for our physical existence and interaction with the world. It’s part of our ability to walk, pick up objects, and carry on our daily life. Ahamkara gives us the feeling of being a distinct entity separate from others. This is first developed when we are infants to distinguish ourselves from the mother.

Let us explore some examples:

1. Ownership: When you say, “These are my ideas”, “This is my house”, or “That’s my seat”, you’re exercising your Ahamkara. It’s that sense of ‘I’ and ‘mine’ that designates ownership and boundaries in your world.
2. Preferences and Dislikes: Whether you love the smell of coffee in the morning, prefer classical music over rock, or dislike the taste of spinach, these preferences, tied to your individual identity, are products of Ahamkara.
3. Achievements and Failures: The sense of pride in our achievements or despair in our failures is linked with Ahamkara. This aspect crafts our personal narrative where we are the protagonists, making victories sweet and setbacks painful.

Asmita cloaks our true Ahamkara or ‘I’. It represents our conditioned self or identity, formed through our experiences, beliefs, and perceptions. It is the layers we add to the basic ‘I’ of Ahamkara and leads us to define ourselves in terms of external factors.

Here are a few examples:

1. Professional Identity: When you say, “I am an engineer”, or “I am a teacher”, it’s the Asmita speaking. These statements tie your profession to your identity.
2. Possessions: If you find yourself saying, “I am affluent” – due to the wealth and possessions you own, or perhaps “I am impoverished” – because you lack them, these are reflections of Asmita. Such identifications anchor your self-worth to your material status.
3. Relationships: When you introduce yourself as “I am John’s wife” or “I am Maria’s mother”, you are expressing aspects of Asmita where you connect your identity to your relationships

While Ahamkara forms the foundation of ‘I’, Asmita builds up the story of ‘who I am’ around this core.

Our spiritual journey involves unveiling the layers of this Asmita, allowing the Ahamkara to shine forth fully. This process is similar to peeling an onion layer by layer. As we peel away, we realize that what we considered our ‘self’ constructed from our conditioning, needs to fall away for the real ‘I’ to emerge.

How would this look during an awakening?

Asmita: Let’s say you have had a successful career as a manager and have identified yourself as such for years – “I am a successful boss”. During the process of awakening, you realize that though this label might describe one aspect of your life experience, it doesn’t define you. You begin to untangle yourself from this identification, understanding that your worth isn’t tied to this role. You see yourself beyond the manager, the success, and all related labels. This recognition allows the constructed identity of Asmita to dissolve, making room for a deeper sense of self-awareness and freedom.

Ahamkara: Before awakening, the statement “I am a successful manager” points to the Ahamkara or individual ‘I-sense’. It forms a significant part of your individual self-concept and drives your actions and decisions. You strive to improve, achieve and maintain your success.

However, with awakening, the transformation begins. While you continue to act as a manager, your sense of self or ‘I’ is no longer limited to this role. You begin to experience a more expansive sense of ‘I’, one that transcends professional roles, achievements, or societal labels. You realize that you are part of the interconnected whole – the “Self.” Despite performing your managerial tasks, your identity is not confined to them anymore.

Understanding the shifts in Asmita and Ahamkara during awakening can bring about a remarkable change in our perspective to life. It opens us up to the experience of unbounded, universal consciousness while still allowing us to participate in the world.